Andre Going Off
Catfish and Frenchie: classic pair
December 9th, 2009
Blazers Edge asked Who wouldn’t love to hear Outlaw announce a game?
HowlinJoeWolf had the idea down perfect. That guy should be producing television.
“Yes!
I’ve been calling for this in my own head for the last couple of weeks. Except my version wanted to see Outlaw and Batum taking over for the pregame/halftime guys. Not just being “special guests” who are only asked controlled questions. But just getting the whole show to themselves for a few games while Bob and Michael get the day off.
Batum would be the straight man. The Mike Barrett role, if you will. Except with suave French understatement. Entire halves of play would be summed up with pithy irony, or dismissed with a wave of the fashionable French cuffs. Outlaw would be wilder than the Wild One, as also noted by two4larue. Half the show might be spent with him playing tricks on the segment producers, or answering half of his questions by dancing in his chair.
Sample dialogue:
NB: “It ees halftime. Le Blaze-airs, perhaps they win I think. Difficult in NBA. One cannot predict. Let us sample other matches played tonight? Tony Parker has 22 points so far. Moving on. Life. [stares off camera thoughfully … ] It is thrilling and miserable. [snaps back] Thoughts for second half? Travees?
TO: “Awwww, Nic, you fresh. It’s gonna be like this. Lamarcus, he gonna be all [makes funny noise, like a truck] and Dre gonna wake up from a nap and then … [dances in chair for 90 seconds] and then B-Roy hit it all like, [makes high pitched noise] awwww yeah!!!!
NB: Back with more. After the old man sells you televisions.
Seriously, I defy you to find me someone who wouldn’t gladly watch this a few times instead of the usual routine. It would be like the TNT crew, but better.
And now that you think about it, we’ve got an entire crew worth of rehabbing Blazers that could take over broadcast jobs, and make a better fan experience. Who would you cast to fill it out? If nothing else, Rudy has got to take over the sideline mic from Haarlow for a few games. Somehow I see the Schonz and Oden doing a memorable guest spot as the radio team, if for no other reason than to top the record for how many times “yes sir” has been said in a radio broadcast. And we haven’t even started with finding the right job for Patty Mills. But honestly, what can’t a crazy Australian do.
I don’t know if this is too much levity for these brutal times to be a Blazer fan. But sometimes you’ve got to lighten the load the darker things get, so I’d love to hear any good inspired castings people can think of for our injured Blazers.”
OhhhooHAAAooohhh muhhaaaaa
NBA Ref Challenged to Fight
February 4th, 2008
I like this guys style! Portland fans should be mad. Some of the non-calls down the stretch of the Blazers/Nugs game were pretty bad.
LA Riot and First Blazers Game
October 11th, 2007
Okay it was the first preseason game, but a game non the less. Here's Caesy Holdahl's recap. It was totally awesome! Show-and-tell Webster was 11 of 14 shooting, with 4-6 on 3s, perfect from the line and ended up with 28 points. I got 4 other freinds to get season tickets in my area, so it will be a party all year long. Andre's little brother, Jo-Jo, came up with up the best nickname for LaMarcus, who btw looked like he was taking it easy on them while acquiring his 21 pts. LA Riot!!! The second thought was to call him Rodney King, and then when people don't get it say, "Cus hes cause LA Riots!!!". I emailed Henry Abbott over at TrueHoop today to see if he could help spread the meme. This was his response:
My first thought was JESUS that's not funny. But it is a good nickname.
So the word is out and the experts agree (sort of), so get those screen printers whirlin' with the Rodney King shirts.
TrailBlazers 07-08 Shared G-Cal
September 28th, 2007
I put up a shared google calendar today. So no more missing games. It also has what tv channel its on. If you use G-Cal, then you can add it by either searching the public calendars for "Portland Trailblazers Schedule 07-08" or you can add it directly with its calender id, that should work for ical also: Calendar ID: mdb2b89h4l4v45t74pnvndflg8@group.calendar.google.com
So, in case you wanted to add your own shared calendar its really easy. Just add the calendar through G-Cal and set it to be public. If its a big public style event, like professional sports, then you can probably just find an ical or .ics file from some other website, which you can then import and won't have to waste riniculous amounts of time inputting a bunch of data. I got my .ICS file from Yahoo Sports. Then you can choose "Import Calendar" from the "Add" menu above your list of calendars in G-Cal. Then just add that to your calendar or just make a complete new one.
Crying in my Beer
September 13th, 2007
Well I think this is the worst day I have had in a long time. First I got an email from Sunshine saying that GO would miss the whole season. I emailed her back that she had heard wrong and that it was a simple noninvasive procedure. I went to lunch and came back to this message waiting for me from Robi-Wan Kanobi Duuuuuude, Im fucking depressed. I'm like sick to my stomach depressed, Like refusing sex depressed, Like get me a fucking drink depressed!!!!!!!!
I knew something was very seriously wrong. Then I read the news that Greg Oden will miss the whole season; I screamed so loud that people from the other side of the office came to see if somebody was hurt.
There were mucho comments on the blazers blog post. There were two from the same NY fan, he was loving the misfortune of GO and the Blazermanics. I made sure to go through and report each comment as inappropriate and asking them to be deleted. Anyways its a good thing i don't care about my job anymore, cus I'm going to leave work early and head to Sliders on Lombard. Where I will proceed to get riniculously wasted and cry in my beer. Maybe they'll have some whiskey special for grieving Blazers fans.
Here are some links:
Casey Holdahl
Henry Abbott
Earl Boykins
FYI... If you are a hater, don't say an ucking work to me, cus I will skull uck you with a brick. Don't even test me.
Dead Yinka T-Mac Dare Prez
Oden's Crib
August 7th, 2007
Greg Oden is officially more awesome than I thought he was. He just made a video blog post all cribs style. He is staying with his mother in her tiny apartment. Its totally hilarious. He loves cookie crisp cereal and watermelon.
T-Law Resigns with the Blazers
July 17th, 2007
So the word on the internetz is that Travis Outlaw has agreed to resign with the Blazers. Supposedly its 12 mil and 3 years. I think that is a great price for him. Assuming that in the next two years, he realizes that he is "The One". Then he would jump inside Shawn Marion's body then explode him, then do something really awesome like dunk from half court or something. But even if he never really develops, after his 8th NBA season we'll know for sure, and it only cost PA 12mil.
Rip City Rap City Is Back
Ohhh Voting
May 31st, 2007
I don't know why, but I love voting. Especially the meaningless kind (But isn't it all). Forget about consensus, majority rules.
I also love the Blazers! So maybe you'll enjoy voting on the Blazers' draft picks throughout history, as much as i do.
Via Blazers Blog
Shades Of Oden
Old School J-Rich Serving Up Boozer, And I hate the Jazz
May 10th, 2007
J-Rich bouncing the ball off Boozer's head than stepping back for the three in his face. TrueHoop
That move is so sweet. Especially with the crazy playoff seris going on between these two. Man, I hate the Jazz!!!
Deron Williams looks totally cabage.
AK 47 looks like some sort of hawk man, but he's a baller for sure. 
Carlos 'the bulldozer' Boozer would have a major unibrow, if he didn't pluck. I love this photoshop'ed wig.
Matt Harpring looks like Bart from How High and I hated that guy.
And then there is Derek Fisher, the most hated of all the Utah Jazz. I'm not even going to but a picture up, cus it might cause me to punch a co-worker or something. Me being a Blazer Maniac, he broke my heart on a number of occasions (couldn't find the youtube footage I was thinking of, which is good because i didn't really want to see it anyway).
